My Fight Against Mycosis Fungoides – Weeks 14 and 15

Weeks 14 and 15

I’m still doing well with my diet and I know why. It’s all about having something to control. I’m probably a closet control freak. I like being independent and doing things for myself. All that has vanished over the past year. I’m in positions I’ve never been in before—all of which have taken perceived control out of my hands and placed it into God’s.

What I cook and put into my mouth is the only thing I have control over right now. So I’ve been able to place that need to control into my eating habit. I get joy out of preparing good food. Food that I know isn’t harming my body. I like eating good things and savoring the flavors.

As I wait for my test result to come back, I release control. I don’t care what it says or means. It is what it is. My mind has been consumed with willing things to go my way. It takes too much energy and mental capacity. It leaves me drained and depressed. I’m better off watching a movie and not thinking about it, which is what I did this weekend (Kat Williams cracked me up in First Sunday). I have no control over my skin right now so I’m letting go.

Foods/Things I Stopped (along with everything from weeks 1-12):

I tried alfalfa sprouts but I think it made me sick so no more of that

Foods/Things I Started (along with everything from weeks 1-12):

I started eating some fruit again sparingly (blueberries, grapefruit and Granny Smith apples)

Mung bean sprouts